It's been a long time, and a lot has gone on...

Tim and I broke up. It's been rough. It was my decision, im not 100% sure if he's the one for me. But just because it was my decision doesnt make it easy... there's been so many nights i've cried, wondering if i made the right decision or not... Only time will tell though. I need to figure some things out for myself. I need to figure out what it is I really want and need for myself. It's hard, cause I definitely still care for Tim, and I know that i've hurt him really bad in doing this.

He asked me if I would ever write a special entry about him... Like the one I did for Ryan I want to do that for him, but it's hard and it will take time... 3 1/2 years is intimidating to try and jot down in one tribute of a journal entry... And I dont even know if I still have it in me to write as eloquently as I once could. It's just that the entry about Tim would be a very special one, and I dont know where to start. Tim, know that one day it will come.

They opened up the full-time permanent position at work... i'll be taking in my resume tomorrow. I'm so nervous. honestly in the beginning I was so cocky, so sure i'd get it. Now that i've really realised just what the competition is, i'm scared. I dont want to get my hopes up and then get them shot down... So I guess I just hope I still have a job for awhile...

That's all I'm gonna write about for now... ttyl

<< / >>

Keepin it alive! - 2006-02-05
i've moved on... - 2005-11-02
who knows... - 2005-09-18
Were no longer together. - 2005-09-01
Happy - 2005-08-11